Lughnasadh full moon in Aquarius

August 3, 2020

you matter


Fixed Patterns Are Meant to Be Broken During the Aquarius Full Moon


Full moon is the natural time for celebration in each lunar cycle,  and this Lughnasadh lands pretty closely to its moon.  The Trickster, the jack of all trades, the super salesman, the creator of beautiful objects and marrying maidens,  first fruits and new hay,  in another turning we’d be off to market or off to battle. This year has to be different.

‘But the trouble with an Aquarius full moon is that human behavior and emotions are never purely logical. Even if, intellectually, we understand that the world doesn’t revolve around us, some part of us still needs to feel like it does (at least some of the time!). And the Leo sun makes this “illogical” yearning impossible to ignore.

The Aquarius/Leo polarity is all about integrating our individual identity within the larger collective. Each of us is indeed a unique person with a special destiny, worthy of being honored and celebrated. But it’s also true that none of us is inherently any more “special” than anyone else. And none of us can truly shine unless all of us are equally free and encouraged to do so.’

This year I don’t have any ‘harvest’ to offer except myself, the work in progress.  I am trying daily to get a handle on health challenges while the greater social context is also trying to get through a pandemic and crumbling superstructures of many sorts.

Okay, I survive.  We have Aquarian Full Moon to light up our conscious awareness, reminding us that nothing moves forward without Love. Our Aquarian quality of consciousness is where we come face to face with the core reality: we are spiritual beings having a physical experience.


It just so happens that many of the things going on in the sky this full moon Lughnasadh are impacting my own birth chart in many ways and making it all about Me.  Not everyone will feel this day as I do, but it is most certainly a day for gratitude for what we are and what we have in abundance right NOW.



Guest re-post: unthinkable thoughts: call out culture in the age of covid-19

July 22, 2020
Unthinkable Thoughts–  call-out culture in the age of COVID19

What this means to me the reader is that it’s too easy just to say that the emperor has no clothes.  What happens next determines how the emperor and the kingdom will remedy the situation.


as soon as i acknowledged i was afraid i was able to move into discernment. my fear became data – i am afraid because the numbers are clear that i am in a safer place than any of the locations i am considering going to. i should stay put, not because i am afraid, but because, as my fear is actually screaming on behalf of my informed intuition, this is the best place to be in this moment.

my fear made me freeze until i had to move. therapy helped me notice i was afraid, deepen my breath, and return to discernment.

i see the same vacillation between fear and discernment in our movements right now, with no therapist in sight…

…it doesn’t make sense to say ‘believe all survivors’ if we don’t also remember that most of us are survivors, which includes most people who cause harm. what we mean is we are tired of being silenced, dismissed, powerless in our pain, hurt over and over. yes. but being loud is different from being whole, or even being heard, being cared for, being comforted, being healed. being loud is different from being just. being able to destroy is different from being able to generate a future where harm isn’t happening all around us.

we are terrified of how widespread and active harm is, and it makes us want to point the finger and quickly remove those we can identify as bad. we want to protect each other from those who cause harm.

many of us seem to worry that if we don’t immediately jump on whatever mob wagon has pulled up in our dms, that we will be next to be called out, or called a rape apologist or a white person whisperer or an internalized misogynist, or just disposed of for refusing to group think and then group act. online, we perform solidarity for strangers rather than engaging in hard conversations with comrades.

we are fearful of taking the time to be discerning, because then we may have to recognize that any of us could be seen as harmdoers. and when we are discerning, when we do step up to say wait, let’s get understanding here, we risk becoming the new target, viewed as another accomplice to harm instead of understood as a comrade in ending harm.

perhaps, most dangerously, we are, all together now, teetering on the edge of hopelessness. collective suicidal ideation, pandemic burnout, 45-in-office burnout, climate catastrophe burnout and other exhaustions have us spent and flailing, especially if we are caught in reactive loops (which include the culture of multiple daily call outs) instead of purposeful adaptations. some of us are losing hope, tossed by the tornado, ungrounded and uprooted by the pace of change, seeking something tangible we can do, control, hold, throw away…

…it is a different kind of suicide, to attack one part of ourselves at a time. cancer does this, i have seen it – oh it’s in the throat, now it’s in the lungs, now it’s in the bones. when we engage in knee jerk call outs and instant consequences with no process, we become a cancer unto ourselves, unto movements and communities. we become the toxicity we long to heal. we become a tool of harm when we are trying to be, and i think meant to be, a balm.

oh unthinkable thoughts. now that i have thought you, it becomes clear to me that all of you are rooted in a singular longing: i want us to want to live.

i want us to want to live in this world, in this time, together.

i want us to love this planet and this species, at this time.

i want us to see ourselves as larger than just individuals randomly pinging around in a world that will never care for us.

i want us to see ourselves as a murmuration of creatures who are, as far as we know right now, unique in all the universe. each cell, each individual body, itself a unique part of this unique complexity.

i want us not to waste the time we have together…


…because against all odds in space and time? we. are. winning.

we are winning in spite of the tsunami of pressures against us. we are moving towards life in spite of everything that wants us to give up.

we in movement must learn to choose life even in conflict, composting the bad behaviors while holding the beating hearts.

choosing life includes asking:
do i have the necessary information to form an opinion?
do i have the time to seek understanding?
what does the survivor need?
did a conversation/process already happen?
is a conversation/process possible?
how do we be abolitionist while gaining accountability here?
who benefits from me doubting that movement can hold this?
who could hold this well?
what will end the cycle of harm here?

Guest re-post: Mars conjunct Chiron, the Spin Doctor

July 14, 2020

Mars Conjunct Chiron – The Spin Doctor



‘But that’s why we have Mars. Mars is in domicile (and very strong) in Aries. Mars has the upper hand here, and will “force” Chiron to expose the Chironic process of split/wounding and take ownership of it.

Chiron will also help Mars to see where he is too selfish and where he seeks – consciously and unconsciously – personal gain at the expense of other people’s personal gains.

Mars conjunct Chiron is our opportunity to see where we are spin doctors. Where we deform reality to seek personal gain.

When we do that, two beautiful things happen: 1). We understand when others do the same, and we are much less likely to be the victim of other Wounded Wounders, and 2). We find empathy for ourselves and others, and we heal.

Ultimately, Mars conjunct Chiron is an opportunity to align our personal will (Mars) with the greater will (Chiron).’


General strike for Beltane/Samhain

May 1, 2020

small_epic-win-photos-hacked-irl-i-love-revolutions.jpg  It is Beltane in this hemisphere, Samhain in that hemisphere, the gateway to either summer or winter.  Whichever one you dwell in, the humans are having a world wide GENERAL STRIKE.  That means this day we will not work, we will not pay, we will not purchase. It is time to pay attention to our WORLD instead.

The early founders of the international workers of the world were wise to choose to celebrate it on Beltane.  All the civilized riches and craftsmanship flow from the abundance now manifesting.  It is not for fighting over; it is for sharing and fertilizing.  Care of the cow brings good fortune.  Audubon Society has discovered that controlled grazing of herbivores actually benefits the diversity and capacity of prairies, allowing endangered birds to return.

Even though the pandemic has us unable to gather in human crowds,  we are free to dance around like the flowery king,  Adonis revived,  Flora enthroned.  We are free to look through the briefly lifting veil at the intelligences who have preceded us,  who are safeguarding the cycles of withering and unfolding.   Every cycle of our Mother Earth has a rhythm and that means it is a MUSIC.  Let us listen and marvel at this music now. It is vastly more important than any of the activities we may be giving up for the day.

image courtesy of OBOD

In other nations, there may be an emphasis on the bonfires,  or the making love,  or the eating and drinking.  Internally it is time to OM it all.  Fill yourself like a cup up to the very brim and it will spill out into the world in a thousand ways.  ‘An it harm none,  do as thou wilt’.  Gratitude is the very opposite of harm.


Our misguided societies need us and today they must learn to be grateful to us.  We will give them great hints by how we prioritize LOVE, Harmony, Beauty and the SOURCE,

which is Our Mother at PEACE. PEACE. PEACE.


Have a lovely UNBIRTHDAY!

Healthy forests mean healthy people– guest repost

April 20, 2020



‘Now and always, we need to protect, conserve, plant and restore forests, wetlands and other natural areas — to help in the fight against climate disruption and disease spread, and to ensure more people have access to areas that keep us mentally and physically well.’

Eating hostas: guest repost

April 18, 2020

I have learned something new! Where I am located the hostas have not yet come up. I will be ready!

Of Plums and Pignuts

One of my favourite seasonal treats from the forest garden is the hostas. No, no spelling mistake: hostas are really edible. In fact, they are a near perfect forest garden crop. Woodland is the natural habitat of many hosta species, so they like moist soil with plenty of organic matter and tolerate a considerable amount of shade. A friend tells me that they have a positive allelopathic relationship (i.e. they secrete chemicals that help each other) with apples, and since the research on it is published in Russian I’ll have to take her word for it. Hostas are no novelty nibble: they have the potential to be a major productive vegetable.

hosta clump

The best part of the hosta is the ‘hoston’, the rolled up leaf as it emerges in the spring, although many varieties are still pretty good even once they have unfurled. The best way of cooking them depends on the…

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“Keeping Quiet” by Pablo Neruda

March 20, 2020

Now we will count to twelve
and we will all keep still.

For once on the face of the earth,
let’s not speak in any language;
let’s stop for one second,
and not move our arms so much.

It would be an exotic moment
without rush, without engines;
we would all be together
in a sudden strangeness.

Fisherman in the cold sea
would not harm whales
and the man gathering salt
would look at his hurt hands.

Those who prepare green wars,
wars with gas, wars with fire,
victories with no survivors,
would put on clean clothes
and walk about with their brothers
in the shade, doing nothing.

What I want should not be confused
with total inactivity.
Life is what it is about;
I want no truck with death.

If we were not so single-minded
about keeping our lives moving,
and for once could do nothing,
perhaps a huge silence
might interrupt this sadness
of never understanding ourselves
and of threatening ourselves with death.
Perhaps the earth can teach us
as when everything seems dead
and later proves to be alive.

Now I’ll count up to twelve
and you keep quiet and I will go.

Happy vernal equinox

Water lilies

Here since 2009

February 5, 2020




Some new age types insist that it is a mistake to dwell upon what is wrong around the world, that is will induce more of the same to pay it attention.   Instead the most helpful course  is to only broadcast the positive, that which deserves magnification.

I CAN’T DO THAT.    The world is my mirror and I speak truth that I see.  Not all truth is pleasant or comfortable.   Reforms and healing cannot happen in a state of ignorance.  The light is nourishing to many,  disinfecting to many,  encouraging to many.  No matter how low frequency the vibration, there will be beings who are soothed by it and others who are repelled.  And Helgaleena is designed to have eyes open. My observation is my filter; my comprehension is my filter.  It does not remain interior for any longer than it takes to create my emissions.  My product is my artifact.   Sometimes my own process is to me mysterious, but that is the nature of the collective known as a living being.  Autonomic respiration, sublimation, digestion, reproduction, circulation, elimination  and creation of my art.  Then when exteriorized I may decide it is worth a polishing.

Things that by nature work best in darkness must also take place.  Compost happens.  Now and then I resent my inability to make them happen as I watch, but oh well.




Living upon the Earth.   Some ways of doing it don’t hurt as much.  Let’s do those.







Dark Roast Press Lovers Daily

is what I filter.   It’s the main thing I edit nowadays.   It’s also available on Facebook as a page and as a group.

peace peace peace




This Is a Prayer for Imbolc. This Is a Prayer for Resistance.

February 3, 2020



This is a prayer for Imbolc.

This is a prayer for when roads flood.

This is a prayer for the lingering dark.

This is a prayer for resistance.

We spark the fires to beg the light to return, but we never really know if it will work.  The road may flood; this could be the year it all falls apart.  The February rains may be too much.  We fire up the forge to bend hard metal to our will, but we never really know if it will work.  The road may flood; this could be the year that it all falls apart.  The February rains may be too much.  We write the poem to express what’s inside, but we never really know if it will work.  The road may flood; this could be the year it all falls apart.  The February rains may be too much.

Imbolc is a chance…

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φυτόν σκέψη

January 31, 2020